I had spent two months wondering if I had MS. I lost vision in my right eye, had three MRIs, a lumbar puncture, countless blood draws, and several appointments with neurologists. At first, they suspected MS, but needed more tests to rule out other conditions and confirm MS. Then, the high white blood cell count… Continue reading A Path Forward
Category: MS: The First Year
The Fire
For most of October and November, I didn't feel great. My vision was blurry, the steroid infusions made me nauseous and tired, and then the lumbar puncture made me extremely nauseous, dizzy, and gave me an awful headache. I spent a lot of time those first few weeks in the massage chair, on the couch,… Continue reading The Fire
A Puzzle
From the moment I realized I couldn't see out of my right eye, I wanted to know what was wrong, and what I needed to do to fix it. I started off thinking, brain tumor, so when I learned it was likely MS, that felt like a relief. I started researching MS, the tests, the… Continue reading A Puzzle
My Vision
When I first had optic neuritis, I basically couldn't see anything out of my right eye. The letter chart at the eye doctor looked like a solid black rectangle. I couldn't see lights or colors. If I closed my left eye, my cell phone looked solid black, the TV looked solid black, and I couldn't… Continue reading My Vision
Panic Attack
I’m a type-A, control-freak, lawyer. I research everything, obsessively. From what car to buy, to skin care, to child care, and everything in between (unless its something that bores me to tears). So, naturally, when I first realized I might have MS, I started researching MS, reading articles, studies, watching videos, listening to podcasts. And,… Continue reading Panic Attack
Unexpected Results
I did a lumbar puncture to determine whether my vision loss was due to MS. From my own research, I knew that one thing that can indicate MS is protein in the spinal fluid. I was hoping the results would confirm MS. I wanted a diagnosis; I wanted an answer. Then, I could start treatment;… Continue reading Unexpected Results
Sophie
While I was sick and nauseous, recovering from the lumbar puncture and "headache" that followed, my dog was dying. And, once again, my family stepped in. I got Sophie when she was 10 months old. She was a rescue. A small, Shih Tzu mix. I got her before I was married, or divorced, and before… Continue reading Sophie
My Village
My family is close. Like, really close. My parents divorced when I was young and both are re-married. I have a brother and step-siblings, and they have significant others and kids. We all see each other regularly and have ongoing group texts. On my dad's side, we get together every Sunday from August to January,… Continue reading My Village
The “Headache”
After the lumbar puncture, I had an awful headache and my back hurt so much that it was hard to walk. The intense, piercing headache subsided pretty quickly. But, the intense back pain that made me walk hunched over, in slow, deliberate steps lasted into the next day. It was hard to sleep that night.… Continue reading The “Headache”
Lumbar Puncture
When I first read that a lumbar puncture was a common diagnostic test for MS, I immediately thought, "spinal tap." Horror movie. Heavy metal. Hammering a nail into your spine, excruciating pain, dangerous. But, then a remembered that I'd had a spinal block when my son was born and it wasn't that big of a… Continue reading Lumbar Puncture
First Neurologist Appointment
I was anxious and excited to finally talk to a neurologist. It had been five days since I lost vision in my right eye. Five days of doctor's appointments, steroid infusions, blood draws, and an MRI. Five days of Googling symptoms, wondering, and worrying about what was wrong with me. Five days with no answers.… Continue reading First Neurologist Appointment
The First MRI
Whenever I saw someone get an MRI in a movie, I thought, I could not do that. The idea of being trapped in that tube, unable to sit up or move, was terrifying. But, I had to get an MRI. Of my brain. It was 6 o'clock at night. The offices were closed, except urgent… Continue reading The First MRI
They Think It’s MS?
On Sunday, I went back to urgent care for my third steroid infusion. This time, they called me into a small pre-screening room first. There was a nurse who took my vitals and asked a series of routine questions. There was also a doctor. Her face was on an i-Pad-like screen, which was attached to… Continue reading They Think It’s MS?
Steroids
When I left the eye doctor, I was in tears. I couldn't see out of my right eye. I knew it was neurological, but I didn't know what was wrong with me. The eye doctor told me to go to urgent care for a neurological exam, steroids, and an MRI. I was panicking, imagining the… Continue reading Steroids
Day One: I Can’t See
On Thursday I worked from home while my son had virtual school. We went to a protest for police accountability and racial justice; we held signs, we chanted, and we listened to powerful speakers. On the way home, we sang along with the radio and danced in the car, not caring how silly we looked.… Continue reading Day One: I Can’t See
Eating Lemons 